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Our Baby-Free Vacation! By Lauren Senese

16 September 2010 43 Comments

My husband and I recently came back from our second vacation together. Just us. No family. No friends. No baby.

We are both more than just parents to a wonderful, beautiful, and amazing little boy: we are husband and wife. And we’ve found that vacationing without our little guy is what we need to do occasionally to reconnect, to relax, and to spend time being with each other.

Is it selfish? Some may think so, but if it keeps us connected and keeps us loving each other, it’s really not. Besides…we’ve taken our son on 3 trips requiring a plane already, and as many of you know: it’s no vacation. In each of our 3 trips he had some problems, but they got worse each time. So we made the tough, but practical, decision to vacation without him.

Obviously, you worry about EVERYTHING! From your own safe return to whether or not his hair was shampooed enough. But what we worried the most about were: How will my child(ren) react to being separated from us; who do I trust enough to care for him while we’re away; what happens if there is an emergency and we’re on a different continent, and much more. But in November 2009, my husband and I took a trip to Barcelona, Spain…and ALL of us did great. So we tried again this summer and went to Alaska. Again: we ALL did great.

We hired our former nanny to take care of our son while we were away. She brought up 4 kids of her own and thinks of our child like one of her own. She has the energy needed to keep up with him, and he’s familiar with her. For a few different reasons we chose not to have family care for him, and for us it was the right decision. Yes…it cost us more, but you get what you pay for! When you hire someone, you can instruct them on how you want things done; when you have a grandparent or sibling or the like caring for your child, it’s a lot harder to enforce your wishes.

I’m no expert, but I personally believe that the more connected you and your partner are, the better parents you’ll make. And while your children are always a priority, you should still try to make some time for yourselves. I know that not everyone can afford to go away, but even if it’s just one night in a hotel away from home, it’s a getaway. If you can’t do that, have someone take your kids for a day or two and spend some time together in your own home…just make some time to spend with each other. Think about it: you’ll get to sleep IN! It’s amazing what a good night’s sleep will do.

Happy vacationing/staycationing to you all!

Contest! Leave a comment with your ideal vacation spot. Where would you love to travel to with your significant other? One person who comments will win a 6-pack of 9oz bottles!

If the winning person is also a Facebook Fan, you’ll also be sent 2 Teether Gum Brushes.

Good luck!

The winner is Michelle with the email address: Sti*********@aol.com

43 Comments »

  • Megs M said:

    I would love to travel to Australia. My fiance is part Australian and hasn’t been there since he was a child and I know he’s DYING to go back.

  • summer said:

    My husband just celebrated his big 30 birthday and we went to vegas. Our son stayed with his grandparents and he loved it. He got spoiled and had a mini vacation also. Not only did we get time to our selfs but he got alone time with grandma and grandpa and it was a special time for them all. It was extremely hard to be away but it was a needed time apart and makes you appreciate every min you have with them. Im not sure if we will go on another vacation alone or not but Im definatley not as worried about it as I was the first time.

  • Amy Collier-Steinle said:

    My last kid-free vacation was the last three days before I became a mother (in the conception sense). My husband and I had been married for 4 months and we went to Bonnaroo, a 3-day music festival in Manchester, TN. As a semi-hippy and a Bonnaroo veteran, I knew what to bring to still be comfortable and as a sheltered, private-school-going, maybe-stick-my-feet-in-the-hippy-water husband, my husband learned to trust me exclusively very early on in our vacation. It was hot, UBER dusty, and pretty durn cold at night when you’re sleeping on a cot and the breeze can circulate your entire being. After 3 days of a miserable 45 minute walk from our tent to the happenings a few times a day, we were ready to get out as soon as the cars around us started moving enough for us to do so. AS SOON as it happened, we were prepared with all our stuff in my Mini Cooper and we drove 30 minutes down the road and showered and went to sleep in a real bed.

  • Patricia Stacer said:

    My husband and I love to go to San Francisco, CA. We have taken a couple of kid free vacations and while we miss the boys while we are gone, we think it makes our marriage stronger and better parents. We have a lot of time to do family vacations together once they get older and can really benefit and enjoy the vacation. We would love to go to Ireland but that is a bit far to travel away from the kids…that will have to wait until they are out of the house!

  • Joni said:

    I would love to travel to Italy! My husband and I wanted to do this for our honeymoon but it just didn’t work out. And now we have a 3mo old.

    However, on our last trip to CA we were able to get away for a few hours and go out to lunch and go to a movie. It was amazing! I do agree that spending time alone is important.

    P.S. I’m a facebook fan too!

  • Elizabeth M said:

    My husband and I have never gone any where without the kids. Unless you count being in the hospital for the 2nd. Leaving my son with his Grandparents was such a horrible experience we have never even thought of trying it again. We had the problem Lauren mentioned, they did not follow any of our wishes. We could use some time together, just not sure how to arrange it. Any suggestions?

  • stacie said:

    Kevin and I just want to go to Maui hawaii by ourselves. See every summer for the past 5 years we have been going with us, the kids, and my parents. Although we love taking the boys theres no Alone time for me and kev, For once we would love to lay out in the Maui sun with the waves crashing at the shore without being interupted by MOMMY, DADDY. LOL

    Im also a facebook fan =)

  • Elizabeth K said:

    My husband and I love to go to golf tournaments. (Our first date was one!) The last one we went to was the US Open in Pebble Beach. It was so beautiful! I’ll admit, I do more scenrey gazing than golf watching, but definitely some of both. The best part is golf was one day of the trip, then we drove up the coast visiting wineries the next day, and ended in San Fransico the next. My favorite vacation would be one where we are both doing somethine we enjoy and not filling our time up with too much stuff. Sometimes it’s nice to leave time to “stare in each other eyes”, as my husband love to call it!

  • Megan said:

    The last vacation my husband & I took was before my son was born (he’ll be 1 next month). I was 5 months pregnant and ended up in the hospital with a kidney stone and infection so it ended up being cut short. We would love to go to Italy together one day and maybe we’ll have to plan it without the baby.

  • Christine McKenzie said:

    My husband and I went to Nashville for a weekend this past January. Our then 8 month old stayed home with his parents, which was wonderful because we didn’t have to worry about a thing! We got a room with a jacuzzi and spent our days touring old farms and a little winery. Relaxing, rejuvenating, refreshing. I felt like I was a better mom when we got home, having had some time to be a ‘woman’ again. I was able to reconnect with myself as a woman, my husband as a wife, and even myself as a mother. It was wonderful.

  • Siobhan Dobson said:

    Oh man do I need a vacation. The last one we had was when my son was 9 months old and he came with us. He’s now 5 and we also have a 3 year old and a 6 month old. I’ve never been to California and I would love to go do a tour of wine country. One of our favorite movies is Sideways and after we saw it we always said we would go to Napa Valley for our next vacation. It hasn’t happened yet but I’m still hopeful!

  • Michelle said:

    Our last kid free vacation in which we did not go visit family was four years ago, one year after we got married. We didn’t even leave the state! The last time we did that was on our honeymoon!

  • Heather Lenix said:

    We are actually going on our very first kid-free vacation tomorrow! We are heading from Ohio down to Florida. It will be a short trip but exactly what my husband and I need to rekindle our husband/wife relationship! We will miss our amazing 10 month old but I have a feeling that it will completely be worth it!

  • Erica T said:

    Our first and last kid free vacation together was our honeymoon! I doubt we’ll get a chance to go away before our little guy gets here in December…and I’m sure it will be a while after he gets here before we can sneak away without him. We’d love to go somewhere secluded and quite, like a cottage on a lake, or cabin in the woods…and just relax and be alone with eachother for a few days. Here’s hoping we’ll get a chance to do it someday soon!!!

  • Dawn C said:

    Our last kid-free vacation was to Jamaica, which we decided to take once we decided to have kids! We spent 6 days in a lush tropical paradise sipping Blue Mountain coffee drinks and Appleton Estate Rum cocktails in the swim up bar, it was amazing. The best part was snorkeling and seeing sea snakes, starfish, and sea rays. We made sure to go to a couples-only resort, which we are still glad for today! We are planning on taking a trip to the Dominican Republic for our 5th anniversary sans child, thanks to some wonderful grandparents.

  • jay w said:

    my last kid free vacation was an overnight trip 4 hrs away when my youngest was 3 months old- my husband hijacked me for the night ;-)

  • Maureen Modic said:

    We took a “prebaby” vacation prior to conceiving our first child. I am sooo glad we did! We would love to do that again before we starting trying for number 2!!!

  • Katie Montfort said:

    My last kid-free vacation was before I had my son who is 1 1/2 now! My boyfriend and I went to San Diego for a week and when we got back we found out that I was pregnant and we haven’t gone anywhere since. We have never left our son with anyone for more than a couple hours, and now we have another one on the way so I’m sure we still won’t get to go anywhere for a while!

  • Amy Szeto said:

    My husband and I love to travel together. Before kids there were tons of weekend trips to NYC, Chicago, etc just because. Since kids, we took advantage of a business trip I had to Barcelona, Spain and enjoyed a long weekend together. That was more than two years ago and since that time our family has grown. We talk about taking another kid-free vacation. I’d love to go back to Negril where we honeymooned for our 5th anniversary. We also think about Hawaii and Europe as other destinations. We don’t know when or how, but I look forward to having a trip where my only responsibility is to relax – and to be a wife. :)

  • MrsWelch2007 said:

    As parents of two, my husband and I have only had one vacation together wothout children. My son is 5 months old, and before he was born when my daughter Chloe (who will be 3 yrs Jan 2011) was 16 months old, we had taken a not too far away vacation, because we couldnt afford to go very far, we live in Glendale AZ, and decided to go to a 5 star Marriot resort in Tucson AZ. AND IT WAS THE BEST DECISION EVER!!!! I completely agree with Lauren, you get what you pay for, and even if you cant afford much, just to get out of the house for a day is worth it. My husband and I went there for the weekend, we couldnt afford to do the spa, or horse back riding or anything fancy like that. But just to go to the resort, sit back by the pool, and to be able to do whatever we wanted when we wanted, was so romantic and vacation enough. It was like we were a young in love couple without kids all over again! We made it as cheap as possible, we could only afford to have one dinner at the resort, and we brought the rest of our food, which we couldnt fit much lol. But all we did was watch movies, take baths together, sit by the pool, and sit on the belcony gazing up at the stars. For two days, we completely re-connected and it took so much stress and anxiety off our shoulders. When we got back we were so much better as parents, our communication was better, and our patience with our toddler daughter was SOOOO much better. It was the perfect weekend. But its so funny, because as parents we always say we need to get away from the kiddos, and take a vacation, but when you finally get one, all you do is miss the kids and want to get back to them! lol. But our daughter was well taken care of by family, so we decided to do this for ourselves and forget about being parents for just two days, then when we got back our wonderful life was right back where it started, only with more love to give to her.
    And now we have a 5 month old son, and we havent been on vacation since…But we are considering going to a resort in Scottsdale for a weekend up in the mountains, not far, not much money, but sooo much love to benefit from BornFree Moms! Will keep you all posted on how it goes. XOXO

  • Corinne said:

    Oh how I would love this! My husband refuses to fly so although I’d love to go to Australia, I’d be happy just driving to Destin, FL! We haven’t been alone on vacation since I was barely pregnant. In fact, that was in Florida! My little man is already almost 7 months now. We are about to take a trip to Albuquerque to visit extended family. It will be quite the car ride with 3 adults (my mom is coming with us), my baby, and 3 dogs!! What am I getting myself into???

    I am also a facebook fan.

  • Michelle Stice said:

    My husband and I have not had a vacation since before our oldest was born 2 and a half years ago. I think our last trip together was camping for a week when I was around 3 or 4 months pregnant. I don’t know about doing a vacation for the two of us to far away because our 2 kids are so young. It would be nice to do a weekend in a cabin in the mountains for just the two of us to spend a little time together and have a chance to reconnect.

    I am a facebook fan.

  • Rebekah said:

    We left our two toddlers with my parents and went on a cruise this summer, and I’d LOVE to go on another one. The only surprise, though, was that we came home pregnant!

  • amyb! said:

    i’ll take a unaccompanied trip the bathroom right now ;) but in all reality? I’ll take a trip just about anywhere. We are sooo due for one.

  • angela tuttle said:

    Oh man I havnt had a baby free vacation since I was preggo with my son 4 yrs ago, and it was not my idea of a vacation! These days all I want to do is lay on a warm beach and not worry about the kids going near the water!

  • Rachel said:

    My husband and I absolutely live cruise vacations. Every January, for our anniversary, we take time to reconnect. Our daily lives don’t often allow us much free time for just us. It’s these “all-inclusive” type vacations that allow us to focus on our relationship.

  • Summer said:

    My husband and I love to go on vacation. I wish we could afford to go more often. I have a few ideal vacation spots I would love to see. First, we would love to go on a cruise, neither one of us have ever been on one. Second, I would love to go vacation in Bora Bora. I have seen pictures and its just breath taking. Thanks for a great giveaway!

  • Paula Caudill said:

    My husband and I would love to travel to Paris, we need a vacation. Thanks for the giveaway!

  • AmyK said:

    I am very lucky, as an international flight attendant, I have been able to bring my husband on some pretty awesome trips. We loved spending time in Paris and Hamburg. My husband’s family is Croatian. He has never been there though. I would LOVE to visit there with him. :-)

    Facebook fan!

  • Monica S. said:

    Good for you for taking some time for yourselves! I cannot wait to be able to do this! I’d love to take my husband to Hawaii – so beautiful and relaxing!

  • brittany b said:

    My husband and I have an 11 month old little girl and weve never took a vacation. My husband actually hasnt had a vacation since she was born. As a child I never got to go to disney world so id love to go there and its something that my little girl would enjoy as well. It would be something new to us both. hopefully we’ll get to go one of these days!

  • Nichole said:

    My dream vaca is an Alaskan cruise/adventure part challenge part pure luxury. Ideally the kids would come but stay in another room, being taken care of by Super Nanny Jo. First class all the way. We’d only see the kids when we wanted and they take separate flights. Tim Gunn shops for me before the trip and packs my bags. That’s my dream and I’m sticking to it!

  • Beth said:

    We would love to go on a cruise to Alaska.

  • Megan Rockenbach said:

    To be completely honest, not just one place matters as my husband is there! We could be just at home with a candle lit dinner. But there are 2 places I would love to visit, austalia and irerland. As both are beautiful and romantic.

  • Megan Rockenbach said:

    Also a Facebook fan

  • michele rudoy said:

    For years, we’ve been traveling to a family condo in Acapulco, Mexico for at least one week every December. However, last year I was too pregnant with the twins to travel. Now, the big question is do we go this year? Without the twins? Sadly, we are just not ready to bring the kids or leave the kids. I also don’t think Nana and Papa are ready to have the kids for that long. But, we’ll dream of next year when we’ll all go…

  • sabrina said:

    My dream vacation with my husband is anywhere with white sandy beaches and warm, crystal clear blue water! I love the Caribbean, but would also love to visit Fuji one of these days!

    Sabrina (facebook fan)

  • Tamara said:

    I’d love to go back to where we went for our honeymoon – Vancouver Island! It was beautiful in June but I’d love to go when the whales are there.

  • Alicia Rodriguez said:

    My husband and I have not been on a date since our baby was born 8 months ago! We would love to travel to Italy for our anniversary coming up. We have always wanted to go there and experience the culture and the food.

  • Mary Clark said:

    I want a trip to Hawaii with my husband, Pete. We had plan a trip a few years back and then my father had a heart attack so our plans for a trip has been shelved for awhile now.

  • patricia kolb said:

    i would love to go to ireland!! my last kid free vacation was a trip to italy and london. That seems like a lifetime ago!

  • Samantha said:

    In June, my husband and I left our little one with my parents and headed to Hawaii for a week. I would do it again in a heartbeat.

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