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Sugar and Spice or Snips and Snails?

23 August 2010 64 Comments

I cannot believe my second pregnancy is nearly halfway over. In less than a week we’ll find out (among many other more important things) if this baby is a boy or a girl, and then the real fun begins. Then we get to start thinking about names and really start the planning process. The idea of this baby will become more concrete to me, I think. The baby will have an identity, and I can begin obsessing over what color to paint the new nursery.

I’ve always admired people who have enough restraint to not find out the sex of the
baby until the birth. I tell myself that maybe we’ll hold out with the third (and final)
baby, but I think that will be a lot easier to do if I end up with a girl this time around
(because I’ll have one of each). The problem is I’m a bit too much of a planner… to a
fault sometimes, I will admit. I just can’t imagine going a whole nine months buying
nothing but gender-neutral stuff! But if I’ve already had one of each, then at least I’ll
be a little prepared already for either result.

For now, though, for this pregnancy, we are definitely finding out, and I CAN’T
WAIT. I can absolutely say that I will be thrilled no matter what the result. If it’s a
girl, then Yay! Fun girly things! And I just know my husband would be such a great
girl daddy. We’ll know no matter what the third is we’ll already have one of each. If
it’s a boy, then Yay! I know boys. I know how to be a boy mom, and I know that my
son would love a younger brother. And really, even if the third is a boy, too, I’m okay
with that. I can envision myself (and have prepared myself for) becoming a mom
to three boys. Sure, I will be missing out on some of the girly things, but boys are so
much fun (and I’m told there is a lot less drama to deal with as they get older). Also,
girls sort of scare me, and I know Karma would have way too much fun with one.

Of course, all that will really matter is finding out that the baby is healthy. I
remember being so nervous the days leading up to the “big” ultrasound for my first
that I didn’t even care what the gender was. I’m sure that will be the case for this
one, too, but I figure I have a few more days of excitement and anticipation before
the nerves set in. Until then, I’ll have fun with all the old wives tales and quizzing my

friends and family.

Jill Krause is a blogger and member of the BornFree Mom Panel.

Did you find out what the gender was while you were pregnant? What made you
find out or wait?

Answer one of Jill’s questions and you’ll be entered to win a BornFree onesie and a Trainer Cup! Good luck! Tell your friends by sending them a link or pressing “Share on Facebook” for a bonus entry.

The winner is Michelle with the email address: mc*******@gmail.com


  • Erin Breedlove said:

    Oh yes we found out. I am not a patient person and i HAVE to be able to theme stuff out… like my girl’s room… she NEED monograms!

  • Leyna said:

    Did you find out what the gender was while you were pregnant? Yes, both pregnancies. :)

    What made you find out or wait? I’m a planner, so it was a must that we would find out. I hate waiting until the last minute, and sometimes get overwhelmed with things needing to be done. So, to help out my sanity, we found out. :)

  • Katie said:

    Yes I did find out with both of my children what I was having!!! I wanted to find out because I couldn’t wait and I wanted to buy clothes that weren’t just gender-neutral :) I think that with my third child we will wait till the baby is born to find out, since it will be our last it will be something fun to do!!!!

  • Melissa said:

    We did find out. I was SURE he was a boy when everyone was telling me he was a girl. I certainly rubbed it in when we found out that he was indeed a boy!

  • Elizabeth Snow said:

    Oh yes we found out. I can not wait til I deliver to find out. My third pregnancy,which I am on right now,we even went to an elective us place to get an early gender scan to find out that was how bad I am!

  • Jill said:

    We waited. It was great hearing those 3 little words (it’s a girl!) after wondering and secretly hoping for them for 9+ months! We would wait again. We had a baby shower and got tons of gender neutral stuff for up to 6 months, so no matter how many kids we have, we’ll always have a waiting period where we don’t HAVE to buy any clothes unless we want to! No going out and buying another whole wardrobe of itty bitty onesies in blue instead of pink and vice versa!

  • Irene said:

    No, we didn’t find out. I never wanted to know. I swear it almost killed my husband though. He wanted to know so bad, but he waited with me. I would love to be “team green” next time around, but I promised him we could find out, since he held out for me with number one.

  • Kendal Barriere said:

    Yes, totally found out! I am a super planner. I do not like gender neutral baby items.

    We had a boy! :)

  • Lindsay said:

    Yes, we found out with both pregnancies. I am a planner and needed to know what we were having so that we could prepare. That being said, now that I have one of each, if we have another one, I think that I would like to wait until the birth to find out.

  • Michelle Faustermann said:

    No we did not find out, it wasn’t an option at the time, sometimes you just got lucky during an ultrasound, but it wasn’t always correct due to the quality of the ultrasound. I am having a blast with the grandbabies tho. You still get a surprise, you just get it earlier and get to have all the fun of preparing for the new boy or girl. So far 3 girls but in 9 weeks we’ll find out if no.4 is boy or girl and the suspense is killing us!! We’re all betting it’s a boy.

  • Tara wilkinson said:

    With our first, our son, we didn’t find out. It was such a fun surprise for everyone. With my second one, we weren’t going to find out. Then, around 22 weeks my cervix had shortened so much it was down to almost nothing and we decided it was better to find out. We found out she was a girl and thankfully, she was born at 34 weeks last month!

  • Heather said:

    Yes I found out! My first one was a boy, and my boyfriend was soo happy as was I but also fnding out it was a boy I found out I was already 5 months!! And didn’t know! I am now about to have a baby girl in about three weeks!! And couldn’t be happier! A boy and girl! It’s always what I wanted! And my son is 18 months and I can already tell he’s going to be an awsome big brother!

  • Sandra said:

    I found out with my first 2 but had some strange ultrasound experiences so now we wait. My second they told me was a girl. We found out the next week he was a boy. I went through an emotional few days transitioning the idea from one gender to the other. The third I decided not to find out but the ultrasound tech slipped up and told us he was a boy. So for the 4th we made sure they didn’t even look there unless they had to. I am not sure I would believe them anyway. I am a planner too but it was more an issue of surrender and peace for me. I got to fully enjoy the pregnancy and wonder which one the baby was. I don’t really buy clothes beforehand and the baby didn’t care if a nursery was done when they came home. We got a huge surprise with a girl and I wouldn’t change that moment for anything. Now with the 5th we are waiting as well.

  • Toni said:

    yes, we found out – I’m way too impatient to wait, plus I love to plan.

  • { J } said:

    With #1 (daughter), we told the OB we didn’t want to know yet – but we wanted her to find out in case we couldn’t stand the suspense for another 20 weeks. She accidentally flashed us some suspicious shots on the screen and put pictures on a CD to take home…and she accidentally gave us the money shot. In retrospect, it helped me wrap my head around the idea of who this little person was and made the pregnancy more real. With #2 (son), we couldn’t decide if we wanted to know – and once I was in the ultrasound room I couldn’t stand not finding out. It was made moot anyway because the tech put the sensor-thingy on me, and the first shot that flashed onto the screen was his boy parts. So we are determined to NOT know until the birth with our hypothetical #3…but fate seems to work against us!

  • Jen Northrup said:

    Our first was not very cooperative so we had to wait and see. Our second we were able to get a great view and we were thrilled to know what we were having. I love looking back at the ultrasound pictures and remebering what I felt like when they told us what we were having. :)

  • Eileen @ Bringing Up Bronwyn said:

    I totally found out. I am way to impatient. Funny thing though? I bought everything, except for the clothes, as gender neutral, in case we ever have a boy. Now though? I don’t know if I’ll have any more kids. It works out for my nephew on the way though! Hand me down baby gear!

  • Larissa said:

    With my first two pregnancies we found out because my husband and I were too excited to wait. Our first is a boy and the second is a girl. With my third pregnancy my husband and I promised eachother we’d wait and be surprised no matter what! But….at our first ultrasound everything was going great for the first 30 mins! The doctor couldn’t figure out why my belly was measuring much bigger than it should for how many weeks I was. Suddenly BAM!! Another baby popped up on the screen! TWINS! For 30 mins we looked at one baby now suddenly there were two. That was it! Finding out we were having twins was enough of a surprise for the both of us. :) There was no way we could wait to find out until they were born so…we caved in and found out. They’re both are girls:)

  • Jamie said:

    We went ahead and found out the sex of our first born, of course! We wanted to be prepared. We picked out neutral paint, bedding etc..anyway, just in case! I think once we have one of each, we would opt not to find out the sex. Until then, we would like to know ahead of time!

  • Larissa said:

    I shared ;)

  • michelle gregg said:

    I totally found out. I did not want a closet full of yellow clothes.

  • Anna said:

    Yes I found out. I wanted to know everything I could about my baby! I “knew” the sex both times before I was told at the ultrasound. Mothers intuition I guess!

  • Jennifer Moore said:

    Yes, we found out. I had wanted to wait, but my husband didn’t really want to wait and he thought I couldn’t wait. At my OB appointment I mentioned that I thought it might be a boy and she asked would I be disappointed if I thought it was going to be a boy and then it ended up being a girl. So at the big ultrasound, we found out it was a girl. It was so exciting. And I guess James was right. I’m not sure I could have waited.

  • LeAnn said:

    My husband and I were so anxious to know what the gender of our baby was there was no way we were waiting until he was born to see! We were already having a hard time thinking of boy names and needed to really crack down to settle on one if we found out we were going to have a boy, which we did!

  • Megan said:

    I couldn’t wait to find out and every time we went to the dr. I asked if I could find out yet! I’m a planner, so I needed to know.

  • Julie A. said:

    My husband and I found out with our first child, a boy and we really wanted to find out with the next one, which is a girl due early this November:) Since we will now have a boy and a girl, I would love to be surprised with the next baby. I don’t know what it was, but we both really wanted to find out both times, so we went for it.

  • summer said:

    I found out with my first. Im not a patient person and it took me 3 years to get pregnant. So I had to find out since I couldnt wait to decorate. Now my second I dont plan on it. I think I can make it threw with out knowing. It will be such a surprise when the dr says congrats its a boy/girl when he/she is born. Plus I already have names for each picked out and my son’s room was actually green so most stuff is neutral colored already! Hoping I can hold out on finding out though the excitement is making it tempting to find out. :)

  • stacie said:

    I found out with both my babies in fact i couldnt wait for the second one till my 20 week ultrasound so i went to my local 3d ultrasound studio at 14 weeks and found out i was having another beautiful most handsome baby boy. Something about knowing what your having is beautiful to me. The shopping and picking out there cute little names and just knowing whats growing inside of you is amazing. I loved being about to tell my 5 year old to talk to his brother and he would tell everyone my brothers in my mommies tummy =) But on the other hand i think its amazing when women can wait till there born. How beautiful is it to give birth to hold your baby for the first time while the doctor tells you “its a boy” or “its a girl” Creating a life is a gift us women have recieved and im so thankful for that.

  • Stacie said:

    I am 34 and a half weeks pregnant with baby #2 and we didn’t find out if the baby is a boy or a girl. I have moments when I really really wish I knew, mainly when I’m shopping because neutral stuff is so hard to come by these days, at least in the tiny little baby clothes. But I’m excited to find out on the big day and will be proud of myself for having held out!

  • stacie said:

    I shared on facebook =)

  • Claudia Beal said:

    I decided to find out with my first child because I was so nervous about being a new parent that I wanted to be as prepared as possible. We even had his name picked out with plenty of monogrammed blankets and toys. I really think if I’m lucky enough to have a 2nd child I would like to try and keep it a surprise. I really can’t even imagine how exciting a moment it is for parents who have waiting 9 long months!!

  • Amanda martinez said:

    I definitely did NOT wait lol my first pregnancy and I couldn’t wait, I wanted to know right away lol

  • Erica said:

    I found out we’re having a boy. I decided to find out the gender because I am super impatient and like to be overly prepared :) I’m 23 weeks and the nursery is *almost* ready :)

  • Emily said:

    We didn’t with our first because we both wanted it to be a surprise.

  • Jo said:

    We definitely wanted to find out; we’re both way too impatient! We found out at 16 weeks that it was a boy. My husband was the only one who thought boy, everyone else swore we were having a girl! We will absolutely find out again next time. Maybe if we have one of each we will try to be patient and wait with number 3 :) .

  • Mel1010 said:

    Sure did find out. I am too much of a planner!

  • Karen said:

    Did we find out if it was a boy or girl?? Heck yes!! No way the Sonographer was knowing the gender and not me-LOL!

  • Elizabeth Keller said:

    Wow! I swear we are clones of each other right now. I am pregnant with our second, after having a boy first. I am DEFINTELY finding out the gender, not because I don’t like surprises, but because I hate the waiting! I can’t go that long without planning things out. If #2 is a girl, we’ve decided to wait to find out the gender for #3 because my husband really wanted to wait for one of the births. I’m about a month behind you and will find out soon the gender! (P.S. I’m a little scared about girls too!)

  • Stephannie N. said:

    YESSS! Of course we found out. I too am a crazy planner and had to know what we were having! I also think it would be neat to wait, but honestly I don’t think I would feel “ready” for the baby if I didn’t know what he/she was.

  • Elizabeth Keller said:

    I shared and liked on FB!

  • Michelle said:

    I definitely had to find out, I am just not one of those people who have the patience to wait until the birth. Besides, it was so much fun being able to buy girl stuff before I had my daughter!

  • Michelle said:

    I shared this on Facebook!

  • Wendy said:

    We did find out if we were having a boy or girl because my husband couldn’t wait 9 months to find out. I didn’t want to know…I thought it would be so fun to find out when the doctor called it.

  • Sarah Martin said:

    I found out with all 5 of my pregnancies. I am too much of a planner and I wanted everything set up ahead of time. I also like to know the sex of the baby and start talking to the baby by name. My other children love doing that too.

  • Lisa Michael said:

    I’m just about 37 weeks prego with my first and we did not find out the sex because we didn’t want to have any ultrasounds done. If they were totally safe and didn’t cause any distress to the baby, we prolly would have, but they’re not. I love my baby too much to put them at any unnecessary risk just to appease my curiousity. I’m not trying to put anyone down who does get them done, I just wish that people would do a little more research on things before letting Dr.’s do anything they want to their babies just because it’s “routine.”

  • Alana Nappi said:

    What made me find out or wait?
    After trying to get prego for 2 years with no luck we finally saw a specialist and 3 cycles of Clomid later, Boom! Prego! I didn’t care if it was a girl or boy, all that mattered was I was prego and was going to be the best mom I could be. After all, my entire life I wanted to be a mother, being the oldest of 4.
    The moment I took that test (at work!) I knew it was a girl, I would have bet my life on it. I had that feeling. Of course I knew this, but at the 18 week appt I HAD to find out if my instict was right…and now, my 9 month old Addison is the most amazing person I know! Best of luck to you, no matter what you do!

  • Alana Nappi said:

    Shared on FB!

  • Cassandra said:

    The funny thing is, hubby and I always said we’d wait till the baby was born to find out what we were having. However, the second I annouced to him we were expecting our first child (back in January) he was BEYOND excited and wanted to find out the gender ASAP. So much for will power, lol.

  • Pamela Martel said:

    We did not find out.

    I am a planner too but was really looking forward to the ‘big reveal’ at the end. We didn’t want to decorate the baby’s room with a “boy” or “girl” theme and had decided to go with a jungle theme.

    We had a great time guessing, looking up old wives tales and playing the what if it’s a “ x“ game.

    It was so much fun to have 9 months of planning and dreaming that wasn’t structured around blue or pink. If we decide to have baby number two I would do it again.

  • jes said:

    i found out with my first. but i didnt even have ultrasounds with the last two.

  • Shannon Naugle said:

    I wanted to find out what gender the baby was because it was important to me to pick a name and give the baby an identity. To me, it was an important way to bond with the baby. If I knew her name and gender, then she was more of a little person than this ambiguous “it”. That, and I am terrible with surprises. I usually know half my Christmas presents before I open them. :)

  • Jennifer Schulz said:

    We decided to find out the gender of our last baby (now 6 mths old) because he/she would be sharing a room with their big sister and we were ready to paint and redecorate!

  • Alison said:

    We have found out with all three pregnancies (#3 should be here in 6-7 weeks). I just don’t have the patience to wait!

  • Sarah N said:

    We found out we are having a boy! :) I couldn’t wait to find out!

  • Sarah N said:

    I shared on facebook!

  • Melissa Cardenas said:

    We both really wanted to know since this will b our first. We wanted to buy clothing and decorate according to what our lil bean was going to b. We’re having a girl! I’ll b 35 weeks on Friday! Woot woot!!

  • Amy Szeto said:

    We found out – it was very important with our first child. My husband is Chinese and there were no boys in the family, so we had a lot of pressure. :) We were so excited – and his family as well – to find out we were expecting a boy!

  • Megs M said:

    I HAD to know. I don’t do surprises and really difnt like the idea of gender neutral stuff. I even paid for a 3d ultrasound to be sure. I love my little girl.

  • Melissa Cardenas said:

    I shared on fb!

  • Starr said:

    We kept the sex of our 1st baby a surprise. It was so much fun and exciting to wait and wonder! We had a little boy. We found out the sex of baby #2, a little girl! It was also so much fun knowing her sex and creating a super girly nursery.

  • Corinne Reese said:

    We found out with both of ours, including the current pregnancy. Both girls!! I just love knowing. This second time around it was important to us to have our first daughter “know” the baby during the pregnancy, and since she can call he by name, we feel like that makes it a little more real for her….. as real as it can get at age 2!

    We’ll see about #3, but I bet we will want to find out again!

  • Corinne Reese said:

    Shared on FB also!

  • Jennifer Boydon said:

    Yes, really wanted to know the gender at least for the 1st one. For 2nd or 3rd maybe not.

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