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Couldn’t Do It Without Them

13 May 2010 2 Comments

Pregnant women don’t know what they’re in for. I’m not even referring to the joys of motherhood and all the clichéd but true ups and downs you hear about that go along with it. I’m talking about Mommy friends, the absolute greatest bonus benefit of becoming a mom. Since having my first son a little over two years ago, I’ve had the pleasure of meeting many varied and diverse women I probably never would have met otherwise.

It never even occurred to me that I would form a whole new circle of close friendships and tight bonds after having a baby. I already had a good-sized group of friends and was focused more on getting ready to be a “Mom” (as if you can ever really prepare!) I can honestly say that even though some of these women I may only see once a week or less, I feel far closer to them in many ways then friends I’ve had over ten years who don’t have children. It may seem crazy that all it took to form these bonds was having a kid, but parenting consumes you in a way your hobbies and interests don’t. Pastimes become just that-something you wish you had more time for and did in the past.

My mommy friends have been through the exact same trials and tribulations of that first crazy year of parenting: the sleepless nights, the first fever, more sleepless nights, teething, even more sleepless nights (no one really tells you just how little sleep you get once you become a parent.) My mommy friends never begin a conversation with “What’s new?” because they know there is something new every day, sometimes every hour–new tooth, new word, new food tried. And my mommy friends totally get why a night out consisting of dinner and drinks starting at 9 pm isn’t a nice break from the routine but a recipe for exhaustion the next day. No one else but my mom friends can discuss for over an hour every last detail of giving birth, potty training or how your bodies have changed for the worse.

Just as I can’t imagine life without my two amazing little boys, I can’t it being as fantastic a journey without my mom friends.

Robin Saks Frankel is the founder of Crib Notes (www.cribnotesbaby.com), a free monthly e-newsletter for parents of kids ages zero to three. She’s also a writer, a mother of two boys (1 toddler and 1 infant) and somehow still finds the time to watch Gossip Girl and Family Guy. When she’s not watching trashy TV, she can usually be found attached to her iPhone Facebooking, Tweeting or playing Words With Friends. Robin, her husband, kids and two dogs somehow manage to coexist peacefully in Manhattan. Robin received her M.S. in Business and Economics Journalism from Boston University but still can’t tell you what credit derivatives are. Follower her on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/cribnotes


  • Erin said:

    Great post ! I too find it amazing how becoming a mother bonds you with other mothers. After my first son was born, I joined a MOMS group. That was the best thing that I ever could have done. Now I have 2 young children and I have gotten so close with a lot of these women. Aside from having children, a lot of us didn’t really have all that much in common but it never seemed to matter. I have a group of women that will sit on a living room floor with me and have a cup of coffee while the kids play and they are happy to do it !

  • Beth Barbara said:

    So true. What would I do without you-who else would understand what it is like to think that 5:30am is sleeping in!

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