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Perfect Mom

8 April 2010 3 Comments

Recently there has been a huge movement amongst mothers to embrace our imperfections and allow ourselves to parent from the heart rather than trying to meet someone else’s standards. There is a lot of pressure out there to be June Cleaver: have the perfect home, perfect kids in perfect outfits, be perfectly dressed, make perfect dinners, and put the kids down to bed at a perfect bedtime.

Mom bloggers have done quite a bit to shine light on the fact that moms are people too and can’t live up to impossible standards. Through reading posts by moms like me who are just trying to do their best and raise happy, well-adjusted, caring human beingsI’ve come to be easier on myself.

Jill Besnoy, runs a whole website devoted to parents who are imperfect and proud, honestbaby.com. I love the concept of embracing what makes us human.

Yesterday there was a hilarious post on the BornFree Facebook Fan page where we were encouraged to share our not-so-perfect parenting secrets. I’m glad to know that I’m not the only one who doesn’t give the kids a bath every night! It seems as if there are a lot of other kids who are running around naked at home, too!

I’ve had plenty of mortifying moments where I truly thought I must be the worst mother in the world. The funny thing is that I always look back on those moments and laugh. My favorite memory involves me taking a flight from Los Angles to San Francisco with NO DIAPERS for my then 9 month-old daughter. The flight was only an hour but we ended up needing a diaper in the worst way possible.  When I realized she needed a change I rustled through my diaper bag to find 3 pairs of socks, two emergency outfits, about 14 pacifiers, enough toys for a daycare, and snacks that would feed the Duggar family but not one diaper. I was frozen and didn’t dare tell anyone.

The flight attendant made a big deal out of making sure I was able to make it through the aisle to the bathroom with my baby. I guess I wasn’t the only one who could smell her diaper.

When it was just me and my little one alone in the bumpy, shaking little airplane bathroom I took a deep breath and just did the best I could. Use your imagination to fill in the gaps.

At the time I was horrified with myself for forgetting such a baby staple. If it had happened today I would have realized that I’m not the first mom to forget diapers and would have asked the flight attendant to help. Maybe an announcement over the loud speaker would have produced an extra nappy for my kid.

At the end of every day I go to sleep content that I really have been the mother I want to be. Not perfect, but growing.

How do you deal with the pressure to be a certain “type” of mom?


  • Lauren Senese said:

    I, too, didn’t have a diaper when we “needed it most.” It was a preschool “interview” (in NYC getting into preschool is like getting into college). It was a 30 minute playdate and it was on our way to day care. I figured “What are the chances he’ll poop in that 30 minute window?” Needless to say, I “borrowed” a diaper from another mom, but not any wipes, and had to change him on the floor of the teacher’s bathroom. And no, we were not accepted to that preschool. That wasn’t the first or the last mistake I ever made with my son. You do the best you can. There’s no such thing as perfect…anywhere! Thanks for sharing!

  • Indi Kaur Sidhu said:

    flying by the seat O’ my / our pants. Nuff Said ?! see archives ~ museum for cute baby photos. Nursery 1970s ….. etc. (website)I used to work here and on Paed’s B4 I became a Mom.

  • Alexander Miller said:

    i usually choose diaper bags which are made of recyclabe materials to help the environment not just your babies..:’

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